When I was a child I had a dream. I dreamed of all the things I was going to be able to do when I grew up. I was finally going to be out from under the parental thumb! I would be the ruler of my own kingdom, the Mistress of my own destiny! They wouldn't be the boss of me anymore and I'd be able to do whatever I wanted, thank you very much!
*The audience murmurs and a wave of "amen" spreads across the crowd*
Of course, now having reached the grand old age of thirty-mumble, I know now that it was just an illusion. No one really gets to do whatever they want, when they want to. Responsibilities and bosses and bills all get in the way. Common sense and people saying "act your age, damn it" all stop you from finally getting to live your dream.
Damned common sense ... always ruining my fun.
*A cry of "preach" is heard from the back of the crowd*
But today ... today I realised something. Why can't I do whatever I want? Why can't I eat cake for breakfast? Or build a pillow fort using the good sheets? Or eat dinner in front of the TV? What or who is stopping me?
*A roar comes from the assembled masses*
That's right, no one! No one but my own insistance to conform to societal expectations!
So, as a manifesto against dragging childhood restraints into adulthood, I've compiled a list of things I can now do freely and openly that I couldn't as a child! Read them, study them, and prepare to put them into action, my minions!
I paid good money for my nice clothes, the ones I keep in the wardrobe in preparation for an event or function that will probably never happen. Why, exactly shouldn't I wear them for no good reason? Just because I couldn't wear my "nice" dress whenever I wanted to as a child, why should I continue to constrain myself? If I want to wear my nice green dress every damned day, I'm gonna!
Here's a funny little one that took me a few minutes to get my head around. No one is making you go to work! We were all so used to "having" to go to school that most of us just transferred that concept to work. Of course you might choose to go, given the fact that they probably won't pay you if you don't, but that doesn't change the fact that it's completely in your control. Freaky, huh?
One day, and that day may not be very far off, you're going to realise that you really are able to eat whatever you want just like you said you would when you were a kid. Don't believe me? Tomorrow, eat a box of after dinner mints for lunch. Seriously, just go ahead and do it, no one will stop you.
I am thirty-mumble years old. Why, exactly, can't I stay up all night if I choose to? All the arguements for going to bed early as a child, such as growing children needing sleep, should be null and void by the time you're an adult. If I'm tired, I'll sleep. But if I want to stay up to 2am on a week night, trawling through the internet looking for convincing McKay/Sheppard Stargate Atlantis photo manipulations, then I damned well will!
In order to remind myself that I'm the head honcho in my own life, I think I'll make sure to do the following things on a regular basis (some more regularly than others). And of course the only reasons I have for doing them are altruistic and completely not self indulgent.
No, seriously! Stop laughing!
By the way, don't forget to go enter my Geeky Competition. Unless you're not a geek ... in which case, no judgement here. It takes all kinds, after all.